I hate roommates who don't care. They don't care about people, or their feelings. And they definitely don't care whether or not the friendship they had with the other person is diminishing right before their eyes.
She doesn't care. And I'm sick of trying to get her to care.
So I've decided I need to figure out a new plan. A new living arrangement, a new 5-year plan.
I want to surround myself with people who are friends. Not just roommates, acquaintances, or ships passing in the night.
I want to return to the days of bffs, and friends that were like sisters. Moments held in photo books that we carry with us always. Late nights just talking about our lives, and experiences - good and bad. Text messages that translate to a smile, even when we are miles apart from each other.
I've found that recently the number of girls I used to associate those things with is dwindling. And now my roommate has become one of the lost. Which I never expected.
I used to tell her everything. And she did the same.
We would laugh about stupid things, and lay in our beds at night talking across rooms to each other. We took crazy pictures, and framed them for our walls. We fought and laughed at the same time. But now we just fight. And she likes to subscribe to the silent treatment.
For some reason, I feel like I should have expected this. Why, I don't know. It really started to happen when Eric and I ended our relationship. Maybe my isolation caused her to change. Well, whatever it was, I don't like the change. I want one of my best friends back. I need her.
The thing that scares me most is her being aware of it and doing nothing to change it. That would really be the worst case scenario. Because in that case... I can do nothing to fix it.
♥ I hope this is not what is happening.