16 December 2008

I'll just keep tossing and turning...

I hate sleeping when he is gone.

Feeling thousands of miles apart.

Heart stretched to the max, aching to be closer to the one I love.

Lonely, and waiting....

Waiting for the comfort of his touch.
The half smiles from across the room. Just for me.
His laughter.
Holding hands and never letting go.
Bracing for the impact of reality - together.
And everything in between.

I finally was beginning to understand how different he is from every relationship previous.

With Eric I was a child.
Following orders.
Never really making realistic plans for our future.
Every extravagant luxury... but no solid foundation.

With Dave it was simply friendship convenience.
We were friends, and thought love would follow.
It did, but not enough to sustain a long relationship.

The other previous relationships were short, and pointless.
I don't regret them... I just found them to be juvenile.

But with Matthew...
I'm a grown up.
I don't find the need to party everyday.
I'd rather find happiness in his arms.
Simple luxuries.
I found faith.
And I found a love that one can only dream of.

I have learned more about Matthew in 4 months than I learned in years with Eric.
I have also learned more from Matthew.
Love, when shared with the right person, has the ability to make you the best person you could ever be.
And Matthew is that person for me.

It can only get better from here.
So, I can deal with the insomnia temporarily.

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